How To Peacefully Divorce (And Spare The Kids Heartache)
Watching your marriage fall apart before your eyes is the heart wrenching. When you exchanged your vows, you always knew that you’d be together until the very end. Yet, years have gone by and suddenly, the man who you once treasured and loved has become a total stranger.
Even though you raised a beautiful family together, the love that you once shared isn’t enough to save you from divorce. And adjusting to the fact that your marriage is over is NOT easy. You always thought that your relationship would last forever, but after all the bickering and emotional breakdowns, you realize that you’re heading for divorce.
Is it possible to have an amicable separation without things getting ugly?
Obviously, coming to terms with the end of a relationship is incredibly difficult, and it’s even WORSE when kids are involved.
We get it. It doesn’t matter if the divorce was sudden or not, you’re still feeling helpless and afraid. Who gets custody of the kids? Will we ever communicate without arguing? How will our dynamic affect the kids? Questions like these plague you at every step.
Attorney Katherine Miller raises an excellent points about ways you can navigate the wilds of divorce AND make it out on top. At 0:15 she mentions that the biggest thing people don’t realize is that a marriage has many different aspects.
Divorce, she says, «is a very complicated untangling of a multitude of relationships. There’s a financial relationship, for sure. There’s a legal, [family, co-parenting, and social] relationship. There’s so many ways you’re tangled and become more tangled as you go through your marriage.»
Katherine totally hits the mark when describing the crazy, emotional ride that is divorce. Despite popular belief, it IS possible to settle things in a peaceful way. The real question is whether or not you’re committed to finding a solution.
If you are, listen closely. Her advice will differentiate a «friendly» divorce and a rocky one.
The first order of business? Stop playing tug-of-war with your ex!
This is the most important point. Whether you like it or not, your life is permanently connected to your ex. If you can’t see yourself resolving things amicably, think of your kids. How do you think the divorce makes them feel? The truth is: it affects people in different ways.
So, start thinking about the big picture. Not only is being cordial the best option for everyone involved, it keeps bruised egos and broken hearts at bay.
From where we’re standing, that sounds like a GREAT start. What do you think?